Updated: Feb 19, 2022
For many of us when we start the on the personal growth path, it becomes a rude awakening to the "I am not good enough" monster inside of us. I just want to move forward, achieve my goals and be positive you proclaim as deep seated patterns entwine your efforts like octopus tendrils holding you back and making you feel like it's all too much, might as well quit. Donning the positivity coat of will power and happy affirmations is only half the equation in our path to wholeness. We have to embrace the entirety of who we are... the good, the bad and the ugly. I like to think of it as dating yourself because moving forward is about one element... noticing-- not judging, just noticing in the present moment. It's like when you begin dating someone you get curious about who they are, what they like what they don't like. When we want to create changes in ourselves the first thing we have to do is to actually discover who we are, what we are feeling and where that feeling resides in our bodies. It has little to do with how positive we are but everything to do with how frozen we feel and how scary it is to step out of our self created cocoon into the person we want to become. Its rare a couple falls in deep love at first glance and so to it is unusual to be completely happy with ourselves at first peek. Getting in a different relationship with yourself means taking a look at all the parts of who we are, particularly how our feelings show up somatically because they are the most neglected. By understanding what charges us, when we feel safe and how events we experience reside in our physical bodies be can begin to develop the capacity to truly be with all parts of who we are. As that capacity develops we inhabit more of our humanity and experience a fuller, richer life experience. We begin to appreciate, and embrace our imperfections as the married couple does with one another after the honeymoon period. We redevelop a new relationship with who we are as everyday, every moment is a chance to re experienced ourselves in a new way. Go on a date with yourself and spend time with the most valuable relationship you have, the one with yourself. Of course the best vehicle to take us on this journey is of course mindful meditation presence practices.
In this incredibly distractible world that keeps us externally driven and mentally misdirected for purposes not always in our best interest the realm of introspection and feeling is a foreign land. However, the journey to those unknown parts of yourself doesn't require plane tickets, only quality time.