Updated: Jan 25
We all know a narcissist, someone who thinks the world revolves around them. They are consumed in admiration of themselves thinking and feeling nothing for the people around them. Their self importance ranks high above others. Relationships with narcissists are unbalanced, unfulfilling and unhealthy.
We don’t think about having a narcissistic relationship with our own bodies but lets explore this….how often do we refuse to listen to what our physical body needs or what is doesn’t need and we go ahead and do the opposite anyway? We subjugate it to the demands of what we think is more important than what our bodies are telling us like caffeinating or sugaring up when we are tired, continuing to eat when we are full, staying endlessly busy and not getting enough rest.
The Native American Lakota Language has a phrase “mitakuye oyasin” which means all are related, that everything is interconnected. This includes our relationship with ourselves, not just with nature and other people. Mitakuye oyasin can be a hard concept to grasp when we are referencing it to our inner relationship. Lets feel this in a way we can understand.
What if your partner did the opposite of what you needed most of the time? They didn’t listen to you when you when you put forth your needs. When you said you had enough, they kept going. When you tried to rest, they dragged you into activity. Hopefully you’d probably high tail out of there and ditch the narcissistic relationship. But we don’t have that option with our bodies. We have our bodies to inhabit, to partner with for this lifetime. We must listen to it deeply, connect and bond with it as if it were an actual sovereign being.
When we listen to the language our bodies are speaking we hear its needs and its important to honor that. Whether it is I am tired or full, hurting or a myriad of other sensations.
Along with physical needs our bodies are the speakerphone for our emotional content: tight shoulders from stress, a stomachache of fear, a migraine from overwhelm. Being present to our all our emotional flavors that express through the body, especially the painful ones, is important in relationship. Isn’t that actually when you want your partner to be there for you the most? When you are hurting, sad, in pain? These are often times we ditch our bodies —when it needs us most. We have an emotionally painful life situation like a breakup or death and we dis ourselves by numbing with alcohol, sugar, social media, or our distraction/drug of choice. This includes making ourselves too busy to slow down and feel: volunteering to make those cookies for the class when you know your overtasked already.
Our bodies offer a deep and rich relationship, a wellspring of connectedness to our the entirety of who we are. Listen to it like a partner instead of subject to be dominated. We wouldn’t dream of treating a partner the way we sometimes treat how our own bodies and emotional arisings.
Slowing down and asking ourselves, “What is my body speaking to me right now?” When our partner is in pain, we may embrace them with our presence to comfort. When intense emotions arise through our bodies, calling to be met what do we do? What is our response? Its often less than optimal as most of us have not learned how to process what our bodies are speaking to us.
When we continually don’t listen to our bodies. It has to use louder and louder means of communications until we respond. After decades of not engaging with our inner relationship, we can sometimes find ourselves with physical illness to deal with from ignoring that inner relationship.
Need assistance with learning how to relate differently to you? Eileen is an alternative healer who has completed 14 vision quests enabling her to be a clear and effective conduit for your personal growth. She has worked with somatic breathwork practices for the last 8 years and is a certified Unified Mindfulness Coach Contact Eileen@relaxandexpand.com